anipal posted this in the forums already, but pseudoprometheus also submitted it and shouldn’t be punished by my schedule, and I’m in love with a certain phrase (which phrase? ooh, the tension!), so here we go again…
Regular consumption of cured meats like bacon may lead to damaged lung function. The lung function is an oft-overlooked but crucial Microsoft Excel macro that makes things better, as in when you’re really stressed out about your quarterly results, you apply the lung function. When you’re racing up the stairs to get to your meeting on time to make your report and start wheezing and feel like you’re going to pass out, you apply the lung function. When you need to yell at the printer, because “PC Load Letter? What the frak does that mean?” you apply the lung function. And maybe, just maybe I need a vacation, but the point of the story is that the lung function is pretty darned important, and eating bacon on the order of, say, 14 times a month, which sounds like a lot until you realize that’s every other breakfast for some people, but eating bacon on a regular basis can cause lung damage that’s similar to emphysema, which pretty much wrecks your lung function to the point where you’d have difficulty reading this incredibly long sentence out loud without gasping. So there.